I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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