oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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