I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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