okay pat passed out under dana's car
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize