I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize