You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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