the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
