Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
