Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
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She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
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I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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