I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
