Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
