Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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