Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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