I'm gonna have a badass scar
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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