Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
