HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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