i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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