Quick, to the slutcave!
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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