Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
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