all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
