We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
