Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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