Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
