Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
