What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
