ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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