Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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