Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
