It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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