is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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