So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
