Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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