If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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