She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
