oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
