Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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