unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
