so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
