Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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