Im at strip club and am horny
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
