Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
