OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
