so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
