whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
