i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
