Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
