The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
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well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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