I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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