Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
