there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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