I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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