The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Non-Jews are for practice
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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