Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
this just has baby written all over it
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
