No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
