Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
