How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
