She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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