his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
