The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
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He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
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Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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