She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
