I look better un-naked...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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